Love, Death, Madness – and Westworld

A parent dies 200 miles away. It is a death related to age, but the MADNESS gripping this country – this world – prevents those who love her from the funeral. You see, a dead body cannot wait the 5-7 days for results of COVID-19 testing. Her husband sits in lockdown at a nearby assisted living complex, denied the loving support of his (their) children. He is alone, trying to cope with the grief and pain of her loss. They all wait for the MADNESS to pass…

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love.
It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot.
All that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes,
The lump in your throat, and that hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love with no place to go.
– Jamie Anderson

Meanwhile, I am in exhile. A pariah. No self-imposed Shelter-In-Place mandated by MADNESS, but a cage of my own (un)doing these last 2-1/2 years.

n. an outcast

On my Power Walk yesterday I encountered neighbors walking their dogs. On the first encounter I was already walking on the other side of the road from Deborah, her daughter, and Rip. I was deeply engrossed in the music so I did not stop to chat, but smiled and said “Hi.” The second encounter involved another neighbor walking her two terriers. Being that I do not know her or her dogs, I did what I always do in this circumstance:  Politely crossed to the other side of the road until we passed. She and I acknowledged one another by smiling and waving hello. But after I re-crossed the road (I like to face on-coming traffic – for obvious reasons), I wondered if we all felt like we were avoiding contact with one another. Practicing Social Distancing. More MADNESS.

The edges of my consciousness are fuzzy. Like last night’s Westworld I’m trapped in a surreal environment, not sure what’s real and what’s a “simulation overload” in the system. As when watching Westworld, I drift through the episodes (of my life). Perhaps this is just stress…

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.
– Pema Chodron

Early this morning, it occurred to me that the previous catastrophic event to turn this country/world upside-down happened during the last Republican presidency. I’ve long since cared about political persuasions in this country, but I DO find it interesting that – both then and now – the US is being helmed by looney-toonies.

n. a crazy or silly person

In a similar vein, the scenes from last night’s War World had a uncanny aura of MADNESS. Are we playing-out a predestined future written by a Serac-like Universe? As this editorial opines: “Why do we do anything? What are our motivations? Who controls our actions?” Like Bernard, are we capable of reprogramming ourselves?

You never stop loving someone you’ve loved.
– Unknown

The Suit of Cups (called Grails in the Tarot of Vampyres) represents the emotional and intuitive level of consciousness. Thus a spread comprised of all Cups speaks of emotional issues, feelings, and personal connections.

This 3-card spread points to a reconciliation. The Querent is being given a gift from his/her past (Six of Grails + Ace of Grails):  the opportunity to heal/mend a relationship/friendship. The Queen of Grails represents nurturing energy and empathy. This read is over-flowing with Divine Love. Pay attention to feelings and emotions, and trust in your intuition.

Normally I reserve Streams of Consciousness for my online journal, but today’s musings seemed too expansive. Too interconnected. Too significant.

ℳ –


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