Musings – 2

January 21, 2018

My dream last night contained not one, but two White Owls. They seemed to somehow be attached to one of my legs – as if they were a part of me. As they both gazed up at me with large, solemn eyes I felt protected and content. This morning I woke with the feeling that the appearance of these beautiful creatures was some sort of message or sign, so I did some research…


“If you’ve seen in your dream that an owl was staring at you, it is the symbol of your inner wisdom…You should use your intelligence and your skills to reach all the goals you want…If you have dreamed of a snowy owl…there will be a lot of quarrels and discussions in your life.”


“When you see an owl in your dreams, it means that you are connected with your inner consciousness and have the ability to gauge the motives of others form their actions. Emotionally, seeing an owl is an indication that time has come to come out of the shadow of the past and start a new leaf in your life…An owl in your dreams suggests that you need to slowdown and detach from all the din of your life so as to be able to listen to the wealth of information that is lying deep within…Just as owl can see in the dark, you too need to look deep within to get all the information that you are looking elsewhere.”


“Symbolic meanings for the owl are: Intuition, ability to see what others do not see; capacity to see beyond deceit and masks; wisdom; the presence of the owl announces change; the traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change” (This would coincide with Death appearing back-to-back in my Tarot readings lately.)


“Dreaming of a white owl or a snow owl highlights your new awareness and enlightenment.”

Finally, from

“A snowy or white owl embodies magic, secret, and foretelling.”

January 10, 2018

I am grateful my immune system has been strong enough to withstand the onslaught of flu going around. I am the one Warrior left standing in the midst of this pestilence…

January 4, 2018

3-Card TAROT Spread
Vision Quest Tarot

Past – Present – Future

7 of Pentacles
In the Past position, the 7 of Pentacles shows the changes you took to arrive at your current destination is all because of one person – you. Whether your situation is positive or negative, the circumstances surrounding you are ones you, and only you, have created.
5 of Wands
The 5 of Wands in the Present position indicate much drama and chaos surrounding you – be aware these irritations are inconsequential in the long run. The need to believe in yourself is stronger than ever. Rise to any challenges with the knowledge you will prevail.
7 of Swords
In the Future position, the 7 of Swords is all about You. Any issues that arise will require wit and cunning to overcome or evade them. It also points to breaking free, doing things your own way, and of personal transformations.

December 28, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
78 Tarot

Past – Present – Future

10 of Pentacles
Drawing the 10 of Pentacles in the Past position indicates you have much to be thankful for. All aspects of your life – finances, material comforts, emotional needs – are secure. The card may also suggest a loneliness especially connected to growing older. If you felt yourself on the “outside” regarding family or friends, you may have found comfort and companionship in a loving pet.
8 of Swords
In the Present position, the 8 of Swords can show denial, feeling trapped, or refusing to confront something painful. Since Swords represents words, harsh verbal exchanges may have caused you to shut down emotionally. Know that your actions and decisions have placed you in this position – you are the only one that can rip the blindfold from your eyes. Look at the situation with a new set of eyes and don’t rush into any action until you feel secure in your decision.
The Hierophant represents spirituality and religion, teacher and mentor; and suggests big changes moving towards you. In the Future position, the Hierophant’s here to listen and guide you. This card is all about “doing the right thing” – whatever that may be, know that the Truth resides inside you. Give up what you fear so it no longer holds power over you. Consider what you’ll still have if your worst fear comes to pass.. Quiet meditation may help you hear the “right” voice.

December 21, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Winged Spirit Tarot

Past – Present – Future

2 of Wands
The 2 of Wands may show a Past event where you left your comfort zone and the outlook of your future is promising. It may also represent recent turmoil with your loved one. The 2 of Wands may also suggest you were bored with your life and decided to take it in a new direction. Where things go from here depend on you and the vision you have in mind for bettering your life.
Page of Cups
In the Present position, the Page of Cups represents a favorable message forthcoming. You may not expect its nature, but it will be a welcome surprise in your life. When it arrives it will open up your emotional expressions, and bring about much inspiration and a new light on life. The Page of Cups usually indicates the commencement of a creative project or an artistic venture. You are brimming with creative energy and it’s trying to break free. Romantically, if you’re in an existing relationship, expect renewed positive emotions to develop.
Queen of Swords
This Queen is assuring you that a decision you’ll have to make in the near Future will be the correct, mature choice – one which will help you shape a better future for yourself. She’s also urging you to start being more independent in your thoughts and discernment. Use your intellect instead of your emotions. The Queen of Swords may also represent the type of woman you’re going to become: wise, confident, and self-determined.

December 14, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Circle of Life Tarot

Past – Present – Future

3 of Pentacles
In the Past position, the 3 of Pentacles indicates a situation that required you to engage all your energies. This matter required an increased sense of identity and purpose. In Romance, you and your partner are putting in the work and the effort to build a strong and loving relationship. You both possess a strong sense of commitment. Don’t be surprised if this man becomes your husband because the signs are all there. The 3 of Pentacles may also indicate a third person (directly or indirectly) causing conflict between the two of you.
The Empress
The Empress in the Present position may be representative of new beginnings that have already begun taking form. She might also indicate boredom and dissatisfaction with your life. Get in touch with your inner feminine energy. Get in touch with your senses. Create beauty in your life and look for new ways to express yourself creatively. Don’t forget to treat yourself to some well-deserved pampering!
High Priestess
The High Priestess is telling you to trust your instincts – seek guidance within. In the Future position, She may be alerting you to a coming confrontation or secret unveiled. Her message is one of passive calmness and silence. Trust that things will sort themselves out without you taking an active role.

December 9, 2017

Ever wonder when you’re going to find that place where you “fit”?
Is there such a place?
Perhaps it resides inside rather than outside of you…

I’m practicing Yoga again in the hopes of finding inner peace.
In any event, at least I’ll improve my flexibility…

December 7, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Art Nouveau Tarot

Past – Present – Future

6 of Swords
The 6 of Swords in the Past position can represent a period of conflict you managed to overcome or escape from. It can also represent somebody who has “saved” you from a period in your life when you felt like you were stuck in a rut. You’re out now, and life has improved since.
King of Cups
In the Present position, the King of Cups may represent a calm person with whom you are interacting has an influence over the current situation you find yourself in that you might think. Unfortunately, this King’s detachment and tolerance for bad behavior may leave you exposed to negativity – just because this person has a calming influence doesn’t guarantee he will help the situation.
Of course, the King of Cups appearing in the Present position may also indicate you are going through a period in your life where you must rise above the fray. If it hasn’t already presented itself, you’ll be going through a bit of drama soon. Keep your cool and don’t get caught-up in the pettiness of others.

8 of Wands
In the Future position, the 8 of Wands points to opportunity and assures you that big things are coming. It also predicts that a vision you have for the way things should be might actually start to occur. Stay upbeat and look for signs that things are turning your way. When you see this action happening, put positive energy out there.

November 30, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Sexual Magic Tarot

Past – Present – Future

2 of Cups
The 2 of Cups represents sexual attraction and a strong bond developing between two people. In the Past position, it show this bond has deeply affected your life; and it’s built a solid foundation for your future together.
Ace of Wands
Aces stand for new beginnings; and the Ace of Wands appears to reveal the creative path you’re on. Starting something new – especially if it’s a creative endeavor – is reinforced when the Ace of Wands appears in the Present position. Be open to the possibilities.
High Priestess
Note: The High Priestess was in the Present position last week.
The High Priestess is representative of pure feminine energy and is the guardian of our subconscious. In the Future position, you may encounter a situation which will require your utmost patience. The conflict will be in the form of a conspiracy or secret. Trust your intuition and pay close attention to your dreams. In this position the card might also be urging you to devote more time and attention to yourself. This is especially true regarding any unfinished creative project.

November 23, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
78 Tarot Carnival

Past – Present – Future

Knight of Wands
The Knight of Wands is an instigator, fire-starter, and quick to anger (“strike first and ask questions later”). In the Past position this card can represent a path you followed might have been a bit too spontaneous. You may be experiencing tension as a result of that change.
8 of Pentacles
In the Present position, the 8 of Pentacles indicates you are working hard towards a goal. Your efforts are paying off, but there is still a lot of work to be done. As a consquence, the attainment of your dreams are being deferred while you continue working on the results.
9 of Pentacles
The 9 of Pentacles in this position represents “and she lived happily ever after”. Your desired outcome will be a positive one.

November 22, 2017

n.  a person or thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something else
n.  a contrast or opposition between two things

I’ve moved into an environment (boisterous dogs, noisy adolescents, the competing sounds of music/TV/games) that is the antithesis of how I’ve lived:  cats (quiet, calm creatures), 0 kids, no roommates (one marriage & one co-habitation not withstanding), and a lot of peaceful solitude.

This is gonna take some time getting used to…

November 16, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Tarot of Cat People

Past – Present – Future

2 of Wands
The 2 of Wands in the Past position confirms a winning streak that is based on a belief in yourself. This will continue as long as your original approach continues to solve problems for yourself and those around you. In addition, your independent streak is the foundation upon which you stand. If the High Priestess is also drawn, pay attention for messages about going your own way and maintaining control.
High Priestess
In the Present position, the High Priestess urges you to use your intuition and seek guidance from within. Avoid conflicts; remain calm and use patience in any negative situation. When She appears in a reading it is an indication that you need to dig deeper than the surface issues as there are certain things hidden from you right now. There is more going on than you think and you need to find out what. There may be deep undercurrents or a hidden motive or agenda that you unaware of; and these things may be either externally or internally related.
When the suit of Swords is near The High Priestess card observe angry words all around and understand that the silence offered by this card will be your greatest weapon. To not respond to a verbal attack is the ultimate response because the attacker does not get the confrontation he or she so demanded. The High Priestess is ultimately a card of finding and manifesting an inner peace as a response to the outside world.

Page of Swords
The Page of Swords is most likely to represent another person when it appears in the Future position. It may also indicate you’re currently stuck between a rock and a hard place, but urges you to be honest and maintain your integrity at all times. The Page of Swords is also an omen that you’re about to receive a message, announcement, or surprise.

November 9, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Tarot of Reflections

Past – Present – Future

The Death card symbolizes all transitions and is not so much about loss as it is about transformation. Seeing Death in the Past position means the biggest struggles are behind you. It also signifies a new chapter in your life. It may also mean you’ve experienced something which left you feeling helpless, but this experience has given you the strength to shed negative habits and old attitudes or perspectives.
7 of Wands
The 7 of Wands symbolizes a force that is both defiant and aggressive. In the Present position you may feel you are under attack and have taken a defensive position. You may feel disheartened or like your best is never good enough. It is important to rise above yourself, stay positive, and do not give in to fear or allow yourself to be bullied into submission. Stand your ground; hesitation will cost you the battle.
10 of Pentacles
The 10 of Pentacles in the Future position can indicate an end to current emotional tensions or conflicts – internal and/or external. It shows that the good choices you’re making now will lead to a path of greater happiness. The 10 of Pentacles has been called “Protection”; be assured the Universe is looking out for you.

November 2, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Tarot of Pagan Cats

Past – Present – Future

The Fool
The Fool in the Past position means that you have set things into motion that will produce a new path for yourself. The risks you have taken and your original thinking have brought you success.
Ace of Cups
When the Ace of Cups appears in the Present position it shows you are in tune with the deepest feelings of compassion and emotional awareness. You have reached a point of emotional stability, happiness, and peace. It is a reminder that you have good emotional intelligence and a strong foundation on which you are able to take on the world, usually with a smile on your face.
3 of Wands
The best position for the 3 of Wands is the Future – it shows that hope will spring eternal concerning all of the matters in which you are currently invested. Being creative now will find more doors opening for you.

October 26, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Barbieri Tarot

Past – Present – Future

King of Wands
The King of Wands appears when you are leading the procession toward a new goal. He shows the exhilaration of being “the one” but can also represent an out-of-touch loneliness. In the past position, the King of Wands describes your recent breakthroughs as creating the foundation upon which you stand. The King of Wands indicates genius is present in your work. If you can pass egomania, the results of your effort will put you into a regal position.
When it is time for you to do the right thing, make a big move that involves absolutes, or to accept responsibility for some of your actions and move on, the Tarot deck will reveal Justice in your reading. There is little you will be able to back out of once you set the course demanded by Her. In the present position, this means you are facing a situation that requires a decision.
9 of Pentacles
Pentacles represent materialism, wealth and the consequences waiting for us in the real world. The 9 of Pentacles symbolizes independence, stability, growth, expansion, creative focus, and confidence. Nothing screams “And she lived happily ever after” quite like this card in the Future position. The outcome of the question you have going into your reading will always be positive.

October 19, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Tarot of Vampyres

Past – Present – Future

8 of Pentacles
In the Past position, the 8 of Pentacles shows you were right to dedicate yourself a while ago, because it’s all about to pay off. The work you put in will be worth it. You’ll get a larger return on your investment, be it monetary or emotional.
2 of Pentacles
The 2 of Pentacles is all about juggling two issues that seemingly contradict each other. This doesn’t have to be the case – you just need to find a happy medium between the two.
Queen of Wands
The Queen of Wands is a good omen in the Future position. Success will come in the blink of an eye.

October 15, 2017

Anonymous inclusion in The Windfall (one of our local publications) in the “PAY IT FORWARD” column:

"I pray that 59 beautiful souls, who started off at a Jason Aldean 
concert, woke up to the most amazing Tom Petty concert..."

October 12, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Gilded Tarot

Past – Present – Future

3 of Pentacles
(See 9.28.2017) The foundation has been laid for the life you’re working towards.
9 of Wands
Your life is on an even-keel, and it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Queen of Swords
She may represent what you’re about to become. Be sure and wise yet still approachable. Don’t push buttons or force issues as they come up. Go with the flow.

October 5, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Green Witch Tarot

Past – Present – Future

The Sun
A good omen, The Sun is indicative of celebration, success, marriage, stability, and overall happiness. In the Past position, it shows you’ve built a solid foundation on which to construct the future.
The Tower
The Tower points to sudden change that is unavoidable but necessary – and positive in the long-run. You may be dealing with a conflict of some kind, or find that one’s right around the corner. Use patience to deal with this situation and try to avoid heated confrontations or arguments.
The Star
Drawing The Star in the Future position means there’s something you’re currently struggling with but will overcome one way or another – so don’t worry. Have faith. You will see a light at the end of the tunnel.

September 28, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Favole Tarot

Past – Present – Future

Queen of Cups (R)
You’ve handled recent situations and issues with maturity, patience, and compassion. The Queen of Cups in the Past position suggests your intuitive feminine energy has been serving you well.
Death represents the end of one cycle and the beginning of a new one. In the Present position, Death = transformation. You’ve slayed the dragon and a new day is dawning filled with change and opportunity for spiritual growth.
9 of Wands
In spite of conflicts experienced, the 9 of Wands in the Future position indicates you’re in a position of strength and can face whatever challenges await you courageously.

September 23, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Prisma Visions Tarot

Past – Present – Future

Knight of Pentacles
(I drew this card in the Past position on 9.7.2017)
Usually representing a younger man in your life, the Knight of Pentacles is faithful, patient, dependable, and a grounding influence.

Page of Wands (R)
You’re starting down a new path where anything is possible. Pages arrive with messages and the Page of Wands is here to tell you that good news is coming. This may also be a perfect time to start a new endeavor or creative project.
The Devil
“The Devil’s best trick was to convince us he doesn’t exist.” – Baudelaire
Numerically:  1 (beginnings) + 5 (lifestyle changes) = 6 (decision to connect with the right relationships)
(As the Lord of the Gates of Matter and Child of the Forces of Time, The Devil represents freedom of spirit, independence, willfulness, and extraordinary efforts.) The Devil in the Future position indicates temptation and confusion. He will try to entice you into giving away your power. Remain clear-headed and do not allow anyone or anything to cloud your vision or create illusionary distractions.

September 7, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Tarot of Casanova

Past – Present – Future

Knight of Pentacles
Knights are the guardians and deliverers of each suit. They signify a journey that’s already underway. Pentacles embody the material world, stability, and success. The Knight of Pentacles is a positive card that usually represents a younger man in your life. In the Past position he is reminding you that whatever life throws at you, you have the strength to persevere and overcome any obstacles. You may have recently disengaged yourself from an unwanted or unhealthy situation.
Justice represents equality, fairness, and truth. In the Present position it points to an important decision you’re about to make (or have made) that will drastically change your life. Look at the two cards on either side of Justice for help with this decision. This card pairs well with the Knight of Pentacles in a reading and suggests your financial situation may improve.
The Chariot (R)
Standing for courage and victory, The Chariot is strongest in the Future position and suggests you’re laying a foundation for your future. You’ve won a battle and have come out of it victorious. Time to take hold of the reins in your life and direct yourself to a brighter future – this may involve a move or travel plans.

August 31, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Cosmic Tarot Deck

Past – Present – Future

The World
As the final Major Arcana card, The World marks the end of one cycle and the start of a new one. It represents fulfillment, accomplishment, and success. Things are coming full circle. You’ve closed the doors to the past and are now opening new doors to the future. Make sure the past does not hold you back by repeating old, self-defeating patterns. The World predicts that an important event may occur within the next 30 days.
Queen of Wands I AM the Queen of Wands.
She embodies passion, independence, determination, honesty, and mystery. She represents the continuous cycle of change where your creative spark ignites and you’re determined to live life to the fullest. The Queen of Wands signifies something important will soon be revealed to you. You may be about to undergo a change in lifestyle – She’s giving you all the power you need to meet any challenges along the way! The Queen of Wands is also related to an important idea that will be put into effect within the next 3 days.

6 of Swords
The 6 of Swords represents travel, recovery, and trust. You might be planning a trip. There may also be a “behind-the-scenes secret” related to this trip. Furthermore, you may be on the verge of revealing this “secret” because you’re ready to move on. You may need to solve a problem in the next few days that will require you to process information quickly in order to reach a resolution.

August 28, 2017

Simply Numerology by Anne Christie
My name = 9


“Number Nine folk are determined to get their own way. They can be impulsive and prone to make snap decisions, and then live to regret their hasty actions. Although Number Nine people have a temper, they soon forgive and forget.

Their trusting nature means that others can lead them into trouble. They are direct and straightforward, they expect others to be the same, and they are disappointed when they discover that others can be manipulative or devious, because they are incapable of such behavior themselves. They need to be more cautious and less trusting. These subjects can be relied upon to show understanding, compassion, and the highest ideals of selfless love. They possess an amazing ability to go straight to the heart of a situation, bypassing the need for lengthy analysis. Slower thinkers get on their nerves. At times, their impatience with others does not win them friends or allies.

These subjects have a touchingly childlike quality of vulnerability that drives others to protect them. Some people may think they are foolish and find it hard to respect them, but once they experience the courageous spirit (and violent temper) of the Number Nine, they think again. Although these people often appear to be vain, their concern about their own appearance derives from lack of confidence and fear of rejection. They may appear to be assertive, independent, and pushy, but in reality they need constant reassurance that others love, like, admire, and respect them.

Often very extravagant and very generous to others, they will instinctively let tomorrow take care of itself – let go of everything and just give. These individuals always tune in to happiness and joy. They choose to work in the spheres of art, writing, music, religious work, theater, and entertainment. Surprisingly, some opt for a career in the military. These folk are excellent advisers.

Health problems relate to fever and Number Nine people have delicate stomachs, possibly owing to nerves and tension.”


August 25, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
The Alchemical Tarot Renewed

Past – Present – Future

6 of Wands (R)
Sixes are about journeys. With the 6 of Wands, you’ve taken what you learned and overcame obstacles. This is a victory you deserve.
7 of Swords (R)
With Sevens, they’re asking you to figure out what you want – and what you’re willing to do to get it. Is someone holding onto something you desire? You may feel forced to take it from them.
Wheel of Fortune (R)
This is about fate, destiny – where our free will ends. Change is coming your way. Whether positive or negative, “roll with it” because “this too shall pass”.

August 18, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Robin Wood Tarot Deck

Past – Present – Future

Knight of Swords
The Knight of Swords is methodical and can represent a younger man in your life. In the Past position, you may have been too blunt in a conversation with someone who needed to be treated more gently.
The Moon
The Moon represents the world of our subconscious: our unconscious desires, our dreams, and our fears; and often appears when we need to pay attention to our dreams. In the Present position, it’s asking you to let yourself “feel” – let your dreams, intuition, and emotions be your guide. Treat your lover like a friend, and don’t force issues.
Queen of Cups
The Queen of Cups represents intuitive connections, tender love, spirituality, and devotion. In the Future position, she’s asking you to use patience and sensitivity in your interactions with others. She will also give you the confidence to take risks in life and love.

When two court cards appear in a reading, a conversation begins. This discussion often represents two people in your life and their influence on you, but the court card combination can easily represent you and another person. Knights represent a guardian and delivery of a suit (Swords represent words and thoughts). The Queens are all about feeling – emotions drive their motivations (Cups represent emotions and intuition).

August 10, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Shadowscapes Tarot Deck

Past – Present – Future
All reversed cards read the same as upright – but with greater emphasis.

King of Pentacles
Kings embody wisdom, reason, and strength of character. The King of Pentacles is stoic, practical, and pragmatic. He knows what he values and is willing to work hard to attain them. Often the court cards stand for a real person in your life. The King of Pentacles may represent a man in your life who you can believe in and trust completely. At any rate, in the Past position this card is assuring you that your current state of affairs is securely grounded in both strong character and material security.
Knight of Pentacles (R)
Knights see everything in terms of waging war – whether its slaying the dragon or relentlessly pursuing that which you desire. The Knight of Pentacles is in it for the long haul and wins by outlasting his opponents. He is grounded and dedicated. Knights are fire-bringers and Pentacles represents the element of Earth. When these two meet, the human body is set aflame = SEX.
7 of Cups (R)
Sevens represent choices. If you know what it is you desire, the 7 of Cups asks you to be patient – for it will come to you. The work you’ve done putting things into motion will pay off. You’ve planted the seeds and watched them grow – harvest time is approaching.

When two court cards appear in a reading, a conversation begins. This discussion often represents two people in your life and their influence on you, but the court card combination can easily represent you and another person. Knights represent a guardian and delivery of a suit and Kings are the embodiment of using a particular Archetype to lead and rule.

August 9, 2017

Last night I had a dream about redecorating a studio-type room. This room had to serve many functions:  living room, dining room, bedroom. I designated specific areas for each function. Even though the room was fairly spacious, the end result was cozy – not cramped. Lots of texture, plump cushions and pillows, light and airy. Colors on the cool-side of the spectrum.

Every so often I have “redecorating” dreams and always I wake-up in a wonderful state of bliss. These types of dreams are my absolute favorite, and I’m guessing it relates to how I’m feeling about myself. But curiosity got the better of me and I decided to search the WWW for insights…

Houses in dreams are the symbolic representation of the 
dreamer’s sense of self.  No matter what other imagery 
or circumstances may present themselves in a dream, a 
house should be considered an unconscious expression 
of your sense of personal identity. This also applies 
to any home-like dwelling, such as an apartment, hotel 
room, trailer, or any of the possibilities of “home” 
that exist in the imagination.
Your dream house is symbolic of the Self, while the rooms 
inside the house relate to various aspects of the Self 
and to the many facets of your personality. To see a new 
house in your dream indicates that you are entering into 
a new phase or new area in your life. You are becoming 
more emotionally mature. To see an appealing or 
comfortable room in your dream signifies opulence and 
satisfaction in life.
Decorating in a dream has the meaning of building something 
significant in your life. To decorate something means to 
beautify it. Dreaming of such a process is usually a good 
omen. Beautification can symbolize ways in which you should 
reorganize your life. A big part of decorating dreams is 
occupied by colors. Colors have various meanings. If you are 
decorating in your dream it generally means that the process 
of building something new from scratch is around the corner. 
You should start, although you may feel resistant about new 
beginnings. Consider and think about the time it will take 
you to move forward in your life and the things that you 
need to do in order to make sure that whatever comes your 
way has significance.

August 7, 2017



A state of balance
A state of bliss

Singular life-form
Conjoined to another

Moments of clarity
Passion and Lust

August 3, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Fenestra Tarot Deck

Past – Present – Future
All reversed cards read the same as upright – but with greater emphasis.

The Chariot
The Chariot represents a victory over conflicting opposites, and the battle between the ego and subconscious.
4 of Wands (R)
The 4 of Wands is a positive card representing harmony and happiness. Romantically, this could mean that things are going to get more serious. You may be planning a celebration of some kind – yet a surprise is coming your way that may turn a seemingly ordinary event into something wondrous and full of joy.
3 of Cups
The 3 of Cups represents good times and people (community) who will welcome you warmly into their lives.

July 27, 2017

3-Card TAROT Spread
Dracula Tarot Deck

Past – Present – Future
All reversed cards read the same as upright – but with greater emphasis.

3 of Pentacles
(Interestingly, I drew this card on 7.20.2017 in the Present position.)
You were given the independence to show your competency within a group situation – be it at the office, in the classroom, or among your family or love relationships. The 3 of Pentacles in spirituality may mean that you can look to old stories, legends, myths, religions for inspiration for personal growth. Have an open mind and take in as much as you can.

The Magician (R)
This is the card that indicates the ultimate level of control over your life and the events in it. The Magician is the Tarot’s card of being genuine and open, and transparent in any interpersonal dealings. In the Present position, this card signals the urgency of a situation of which you must seize to take advantage. In this position, The Magician indicates that your ability to be yourself and impress the right person or people can have a big impact on the direction your life takes. The Magician in the Present position is a metaphor for your free will and good luck – combining in a rare opportunity to move way ahead in life. When this card is in this position, take your great leap forward.
The Hermit
This card indicates solitude. The Hermit in the Future position means one of two things: You could have thought about what is troubling you for long enough to make a realization and go on with your life, or you might be reaching this point very soon.

July 14, 2017

Enough romantic shit. I don’t need a ball-and-chain – already have one:

?;>  xxoo

I need a consort – in the old sense of the word…

July 13, 2017

Only 3 more days ’til Game of Thrones, Season 7 premiers!!!

Totally unrelated (but not a bad reason for a pre-celebratory party), I’m having some grrl-friends over tomorrow night for drinks and nibbles. It’s been DECADES since I’ve hosted a “ladies’ night” – way overdue. It’s also the dawn of another door opening:  Saturday’s show @ The Quarter Note will herald the re-awakening of Rock Vixen – in all her bad-fucking-ass glory!!

June 29, 2017

‘Kayso, as what normally occurs with me on “the Web” I was performing a search containing “Michelle -” and THIS is what came up on Urban Dictionary:

"Hebrew meaning 'like God'...Michelles are often...astonishingly 
gorgeous, very athletic, dark hair and usually curly/wavy/thick..."

"A kind of girl superior to the rest; the smartest, most beautiful 
girls in the world are named Michelle... Sometimes they might not 
think they are special, but it's a temporary mental disorder (WTF?); 
all girls named Michelle are special, and are in fact destined for 

"...someone who believes in doing the right thing at all cost. 
Believes in fate and has high morals. Dislikes lying and thinks 
family is important. At times can be stubborn and not think...
Tends to be nice to people, but gets annoyed easily and doesn't 
trust very well. Tends to have pretty eyes. Unique and often called 
odd." ?;>

"A girl who does not try yet always gets attention.
A girl always causing men to 'crash' due to her beauty. 
(I have yet to see THAT happen LOL)
...attractive who could care less."

"...Having astounding sex appeal by nature..."

"Michelle is simply the most incredible, amazing, wonderful creation 
that the universe will ever produce. She is unique and is obviously 
from another world. Combine intelligence, humour, courage, toughness, 
sensitivity, creativity, perseverance, sensuality, honesty and wisdom 
with the biggest heart imaginable and that is Michelle!
Her astounding physical loveliness is only eclipsed by the beauty 
that radiates from within her.
Add a laugh that infects the world and you know why Michelle stands 
alone among women."

‘Kay, whenever I’m feeling like SHIT about myself I will definitely revisit that site LOL!!!!

June 19, 2017

The time has come
To forget the boundaries of age.
The time has come
To accept living against the norm.
The time has come
To live life my way – once again.
The time has come
To open my heart to youth.

June 12, 2017

Only 4 people voted on their favorite Game of Thrones female character. Seriously? I thought there were more people into GoT. Perhaps, like a lot of things, I was misguided in this perception. I figured Daenerys would garner a TON of male votes – but as of today she has 0.

Not surprising is my identification with Melisandre. She is my Archetype. I think very few fans love her, let alone even LIKE her as she’s clearly seen as a villian of sorts. Actually, deep down I like that. She is a world unto herself and follows her path alone – knowing that is her destiny. Her legacy. She’s seen the folly and disaster that comes from relying too much on others.

Although Melisandre only has one chapter devoted to her in the Ice and Fire saga (and very little mention outside of that), I can’t help but be curious about where the series will take her; and anxiously hope she regains her strength of purpose and point of power.

June 8, 2017

Added July 20, 2017
“But what makes a guy creepy really?
Almost all the time, it’s an unexplainable feeling of discomfort…
#9  The staring creepy guy. He’s the guy who drops everything else and stares at you with a vengeance. He stares hard, with an eye-watering, lingering gaze…”

‘Kayso, there’s this guy who hangs around The Quarter Note like ALL THE TIME who’s turned into a Creepy Stalker scumsuck. He’s not one of “the Rock community” I hang with – rather is part of the scuzzy blues whatever – and thinks he’s all that.

WHY HE’S A FUCKSOCK:  Puts down other musicians (which I detest), flabby/dumpy, dresses for shit (always wears this greasy-looking ballcap – which you KNOW hides the fact HE’S TOTALLY BALD ON TOP), no social graces, narcissistic (constantly trying to get me to come see his stupid little band so I can see him play his stupid little guitar*), sleazy facial hair, throat wattle, always standing around staring at me (I mean, a hard-stare that screams “STALKER!”), beady little rat eyes, gets visibly pissed-off because I’m ignoring his creepy old flabby ass…ad nauseum. Did I mention the THROAT WATTLE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

REDEEMING QUALITIES:  Cat-owner (WAIT. I don’t even give a shit about that.) NONE

If you see this Creep, feel free to beat the shit out of him, ‘kay?

*I never go to any blues/R&B shows so why the fuck would I want to listen to music that not only puts me to sleep but that I totally H-A-T-E? (Answer:  It’s rhetorical) He’s a lameass idiotic-imbecilic-moronic Fucksock! (Maybe I should beat the shit out of him – or at least rip-off his Wattle…)

May 9, 2017

TAROT Spread
Zombie Tarot Deck

I’m using 5-card spreads for Yes/No questions. Although I won’t divulge the question, the cards dealt provided details.

Moon (reversed)
(Especially in reverse, The Moon indicates that things may seem somewhat confusing to you now and/or to those close to you. It’s important to “sit” with the uncertainty; don’t try to force things or people to do things before they are ready.) Can point to a highly emotional and/or uncomfortable time in love relationships. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t ignore your intuition, however.
9 of Cups (reversed)
(Whether reversed or upright, the 9 of Cups is one of the most uplifting and pleasant cards to receive in a reading. Known often as the “wish card” it can mean that what you are hoping for or dreaming about most is very likely to be yours. The reversal says that the wishes for you will go even deeper; these are not superficial wishes that are at play now. That’s a good thing.) This is a very good omen for your love life. Existing relationships are likely to deepen, become sweeter and more meaningful, at very deep levels.
Knight of Pentacles
With regard to love, this card points to the responsibility and duty that is part of any love relationship. If you are looking for love when you draw this card, it’s a clear signal that you need to vary your routine and try new things if you want to meet someone.
(Judgment can be a card about jumping to conclusions, decisions, and judgments which are too hastily made. If you are prone to such things, this is a clear signal to slow down and give things more thought and to give people “more chances.”) This is a time to get very, very clear about what you want out of life and out of your relationships, and then take steps to make it come about.
(Strength indicates the importance of mind over matter, and reminds you to focus on what you do want rather than what you don’t want in your life.) Love should be going very well – if you’re committed, this is very likely to be a strong relationship that is mutually supportive and beneficial. If you’re looking for someone, this is a much better-than-average time to meet people. You should be in a self-confident phase, so get out and mingle. You might be very pleasantly surprised by how things work out.

April 30, 2017

TAROT Spread
Joseph Vargo’s Gothic Tarot Deck

Card #1: What I THINK I’m leaving behind – 10 of Swords (reversed)
(10 of Swords reversed represents endings and loss; backstabbing & lack of support.) The Seeker might be feeling there is no end in sight, BUT it may also mean the worst has already happened.
Card #2: What I’m REALLY leaving behind – The Devil (reversed)
Because the #2 card in this spread can refer to one’s mindset (as opposed to a person or situation) The Devil reversed implies the Seeker wants to change their life.

These cards represent 3 choices ahead of me (or courses of action) – outcome dependent upon which I choose:
Card #3: 2 of Pentacles
Some sort of choice is under consideration that will affect the long-term financial picture. Also, things may not be what they appear to be.
Card #4: King of Pentacles (reversed)
The King of Pentacles card reversed warns that important items are being ignored.
Card #5: Page of Wands*
(Page of Wands represents a dark young man.) Shows a bright future of new adventures and creative expression after the current trials pass on.
However, when the Devil is paired with the Page of Wands there may be illusions clouding the picture. YIKES!

*In this deck Pages are called Knaves.

April 22, 2017

Here’s the scenario:  You’re out with a friend of yours when he casually mentions so-and-so (the particulars being a gal who’s part of our local rock scene). Happens a couple of times – the last time “hinting” that he knows where she lives

…just when you thought that topic was dead and buried.

April 20, 2017

Ever feel like everyone around you is reading from one script, but you’ve got a different one in front of you? Like the words and sentences are ALMOST the same, but the frames of reference are different…

I am forcing myself to deal with these situations – to confront the weirdness – when all I really want is for everyone to leave me the fuck alone.

March 24, 2017

I’ve developed an allergic reaction to one of my leave-in hair products. Since the rash is only on the very sides of my face, I’ve concluded it’s from sleeping on my hair (allergic contact dermatitis). So I tie my hair back before bed. Also using organic, unrefined/unprocessed coconut oil and non-soap cleanser on my skin; drinking lots of water (peeing constantly); and sipping an apple cider vinegar/agave/water “tea”* twice a day to help balance my body’s ph. A daily antihistamine quells the itch and good ol’ ibuprofen reduces the redness, somewhat.

The rash has finally stabilized and the tiny red blisters are drying-up and crusting over (yuck). Face feels tight where the “scabbing” is, but is a little softer today than yesterday. Progress. Lesson learned is that my skin is thinner and drier than it used to be. I will need to keep this in mind from now on.

I just wish it would go away. I’m self-conscious and VERY depressed – I’m sure this emotional stress doesn’t help the healing process…I know this won’t last forever, but that positivity somehow evaporates during the course of each day. I just want to hide in my room until it’s gone.

*This really tastes good:  Add 1-2 Tbls organic unprocessed apple cider vinegar (if you can see cloudy stuff in the bottom of the bottle – the “mother” – that’s the good kind) to 1 cup warm water and add organic agave to taste (you can substitute honey if you wish).

November 13, 2016

No man is an island.
I am woman
I AM an island
Lush, vibrant, healthy

Exclusive, odd, solitary
Sexual, intellectual
Predatory beauty
I am female
No man’s (is)land.

October 15, 2016

It’s been a helluva week

So, I’m driving home on Lawrence Expwy after seeing The Wicked Fools & ONOFF@ The Quarter Note…

Lotsa lights suddenly behind me – I mean LOTS (gone are the days of 1 horizontally-pulsing light fixture) – I’m being pulled over. As I sit in the left-hand turn lane waiting for light to change so we can do this on a quieter bit of road (and one that has a spot to pull-over into), my thoughts are:

   I'm doing the speed limit (50).
   I wasn't weaving.
   Why are they flashing lights at me?

So, I pull over, turn off car/lights, and open my door (apologizing to the officer that my window is broken, which it is). He pulled me over because one of my brake lights was out. (Why don’t car makers install something useful like alerting you that you have a brake light out!?!?) Of course, he starts the questions about drinking and where I’m headed – yada yada yada…normal shit. Oh, did I mention this cop looks really young.

I had 2 drinks ’bout a couple hours before. I ALWAYS have just 2 drinks (I know my limit). So he does the “follow my finger” thing. First time experiencing this and it gets boring after a few minutes (seemed liked HOURS), but I’m having no problems. Then he asks if I would take a breathalizer test. Said YES, of course.

So while he runs back to his car, cop #2 appears apparently to keep me company. This guy looks even younger and kinda dweeby. Said some nerdy things. Funny. But he said I looked nice and noticed I had my “dancing” shoes on. (WTF?) He also mentioned that someone “wrote” on my window*. (WTF?WTF?) We chatted until cop #1 re-appears at which time cop #2 disappears. Magic act.

So I do the breathalizer. Now I notice throughout this interaction, cop #1 never looks me straight in the eyes. Why is that? I don’t trust people who don’t look me in the eye. Hmmm… Anyway, I do fine (duh), he says he’s not going to write me a “fix it” ticket and I’m free to go. We exchange pleasantries and I drive home. Barneys!

You know what’s funny? All I could think about afterwards is how glad I was to have finally gotten my driver-side door fixed (couldn’t open it, inside door handle gone, a mess).

How embarrassing it would've been to see me climb over
the stick, get into the passenger seat, and have to 
talk to them on the OTHER side of my car.

Or maybe it would've given them something to talk 
about back at the station.  ;>

*When I got home, sure enough someone had written (?) “You Roll” on one of my windows. Happened @ The Quarter Note. I wonder who did it – and why???? One of life’s great mysteries.

October 1, 2016

As it may be obvious (to a few) who this entry is about, I have partially “coded” its contents.

I work with a NARCISSIST – and Psycho-bitch.

Psycho-bitches are scary – but fun to play with!

?-??? is stupid, FAT, and looks like a $5 youknowwhatinchurch (OK, 10 cents). Really. I would not lie. And ?-??? sticks her nose so far up management’s youknowwhat, ?-???’? nose should be brown. But I haven’t taken a close look…and don’t want to.

These types of PERSONALITY DISORDERS are always portrayed as being smart and lethal in the movies. Only in ?-???’? dreams… This persons THINKS she’s “all that”, but falls short – VERY VERY VERY VERY SHORT – of the mark.

And while I understand ?-???’? behavior hides the deep-seated realization that she is so far beneath the rest of us she might as well cutheryouknowwhat and be done with it, I really wish ?-???’? cutheryouknowwhat and be done with it…

I’m so over her horrendously unethical actions – which ?-??? continually tries to blame on everyone else. I’m DONE working with this Psycho-bitch. I’m tired of this person LYING and TALKING SHIT behind my back (and everyone else’s). The problem is: I’m smarter, better looking, better at my job (heck, I actually WORK) – better EVERYTHING than she ever will be. This sticks in her craw (claw?) And I may only be “mom” to a cat, I understand she missed the mark on that one, as well. So that makes me a better Mom too.

I’ve learned you don’t want to take people like this for granted. One can’t just write-off their behavior as “childish” and ignore them – they are POISONOUS to be around and leave toxic work environments in their wake. You always must be on the lookout for the one incident that’ll unravel their flimsy facade. They’ll think they have fooled everyone around them (especially superiors) and that’s when they’ll make that fatal mistake. It’s up to you to catch it, preserve it, back-it up with real data (the truth), and serve it up on a platter (feeling joyous inside to have unveiled the GREAT LIE).

This has been an interesting ride for me. Amusing, skill-building, but sometimes very boring. The day I won’t see ?-???’s fat, lumpy ass waddling down the hallway can’t come soon enough.

July 27, 2016

Other people’s Agendas – little white lies…

People. They exert pressure – with their freely-given advice and incessant comments – their timetables, their agendas. Certain subjects produce an excess of opinions – opinions wrapped in a layer of superiority. Do they understand this – is that their goal?

It finally dawned on me: little white lies.

You know that saying “A little white lie never hurt anyone.”? Here’s the truth:

Every little white lie you tell is still a lie and it is still meant to mislead people.

July 13, 2016

douche, douchebag, douche bag
n. (slang) an arrogant, obnoxious, contemptible or despicable person; overzealous,
pompous, or vexatious asshole

Specifically, a “douchebag cop” * (apparently there are quite a lot of them).

So I’m driving home from work. I take my usual detour through a quiet residential area. Up ahead I see “whirling” lights but I can’t yet make out the vehicle. Taking a quick assessment (no road block and no ambulance that I can see) I think it’s probably one of those vehicles driven by city employees when they have to come out and deal with “tree issues” (you know, large limb falling on house/car). Anyway, that was my initial take.

Getting closer, I see it’s a firetruck. Again, whatever’s happening is on the other side of the street and there’s no indication that traffic is not being allowed through. But before proceeding, I take a quick glance at speedometer: 27mph. Just a smidge over the 25mph speed limit. I continue on. Big mistake.

As I get next to the scene, I’m flagged down by 1 policeman and several firefighters. Running laws/rules/whatever quickly through my head to determine what faux pas I’ve made – I come up with NADA. But I stop. The cop comes up to my car and waits for me to roll down the window (which I can’t because it’s broken, so I open the car door so we can chat).

Let me give you a quick rundown on “the scene” before I continue:
(1) a car has run into the side of a parked vehicle
(2) one firetruck with “whirling” lights
(3) no ambulance – there might’ve been one earlier, although the accident seemed pretty minor damage-wise and
(4) no less than 6 firefighters just standing around – which struck me as “odd”.

The douchebag cop gets in my face and starts yelling at me for “speeding”. I’m sorry, 2mph over the speed limit doesn’t constitute “speeding” in my book; besides, those who know me KNOW I don’t speed. I’m also behind the wheel of a little GEO Metro. Hel-lo? I figure he’s having a bad day. Maybe hasn’t been laid. Maybe needs a drink. Who knows? He continues his diatribe and closes with: “You may want to get your speedometer fixed”.

I’m thinking “and you may want to get your head examined” but sometimes you just gotta let people rant at you – especially when they have the power to beat you up, put you in handcuffs – I’m not talking ’bout the fur-lined ones either – then cart you off to jail.

*credit goes to Nadir D’Priest in The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years

July 4, 2016

So, there’s a page I’m currently working on entitled ‘Voyeur’. Thinking about what content to include, I go searching the ‘net using the keyword “voyeurism”. As you can imagine, lotsa stuff pops up. Narrow my search to movies and find “top 10”, “top 25” etc. movies with a voyeuristic theme – some of which I will include in the page.

But I see that some of the movies on these lists could also be considered surveillance-themed. Hmm…so I perform the same search using “surveillance”. Guess what I found?

The same movies were featured on both types of listings – and on Wikipedia: List of films featuring surveillance.

n. the practice of being a voyeur

n. a person who gains sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked
or engaged in sexual activity; a person who enjoys seeing the pain or distress
of others

Now compare:

n. the act of carefully watching someone or something

Lotsa gray areas…makes you wonder about the kind of people being recruited to “surveil” us…

June 28, 2016

“After” parties. I’ve never enjoyed them. I understand why bands play host to them: “decompress time”, but I still find them dull. For the most part, the musicians themselves aren’t the problem – it’s the dysfunctional “peripherals” who bore me to tears.

v. make someone feel weary by tedious talk or dullness

The practice studio was huge and very cool, but I wish they had played their own music instead of whateveritwastheywerespinning. I resorted to watching Kid Rock videos on the flatscreen near the bar.

resort (to)
v. the action of turning to and adopting a course of action, especially an undesirable one,
so as to resolve a difficult situation

It was here that I became the object of one individual’s attention. He was playing so many mind games that I was actually amused by the situation – which relieved my boredom for a little while – until he became “sad” (?!?!) and walked off…I took this opportunity to make my escape…

n. manipulate (a situation), typically in a way that is unfair or unscrupulous
n. activity engaged in for diversion or amusement

adj. pathetically inadequate

but first I had to use the ladies’ room. Two of us (ladies) in line while the clock tick-tocked. Finally the bathroom door opens and out come two guys, one of whom remarks that they were “sucking each other’s dicks/cocks” as they strode past us. Hmmm…methinks that was a lame, not-so-clever attempt at diverting us from mentally running through the (short)list of things they probably WERE doing behind that door (yawn – like I care).

adj. (of an explanation or excuse) unconvincingly feeble

But I had more pressing issues to attend to and I was next-in-line!! While otherwise engaged in normal body functions, I looked at the time (YIKES!) AND noticed a sizable run in my hose (YE GODS!) – a definite sign the night was over!

I asked one of the bandmates if he’d call Über for me (flip-phones and apps don’t play well together) – another first!

You know what else? Except for Hairstrike’s gig earlier that evening (Hairstrike unrelated to the present situation), the nicest part of this whole “after party” was the conversation I had with Über driver, Chris, as he drove me back to my car.

Ended the night on a significantly high note with a long bubble bath – just what the doctor ordered to help clean off the layer of filth clinging to my body – and crawled into bed with Diego purring next to me. Heaven.

June 6, 2016

Most people don’t know that in another life I was a Web Developer. Back in the early days of the internet, people were creating some truly beautiful and extraordinary art online.

That it evolved into the trite and mundane entity it is today was inevitable…

One woman’s art became my inspiration and the sole reason I became interested in creating digital content:  Auriea Harvey

Her website is still online – with most of the content intact. I challenge you to find any other site that compares to its haunting beauty and soulful depth:

>> Entropy 8

April 2, 2016

The Ritz, downtown San Jose

Metalachi‘s on stage. I see an empty place at the bar, so my girlfriend and I occupy it. This guy’s at the bar. Latino, nice-looking, but very clean-cut. Does the obligatory “Can I buy you a drink?” I gracefully decline, but does this dude let it go? No. He has to start pushing. I’m politely declining. He then uses the most offensive line ever: “You like me. I know you like me.”

To you gentlemen out there: Over the centuries politeness has been bred into women. For most of us, we’d die before offending someone – especially men.

And he knew this , which is why he pulled it out of his hat – nothing else was working for him. I wasn’t responding to his advances. (You’d think my being dressed in 80’s-style metal-studded clothing would be a BIG CLUE that he was not anywhere near my type…moron)

I’m happy to report that I answered the question honestly: “No, I don’t. You’re not my type. I only date long-haired rockers.” Finally, he left – in a fit! He was PISSED because his manipulations didn’t work on me.

Amazing. If I have one piece of advice for all men out there, it’s this: “Don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer.”