Dream Journal (8.8.2021)

This dream took place last night.

SHE came to me last night. My Spirit Animal. My Shadow. My Panther. I was in a large warehouse-type building talking to someone when SHE appeared and nudged my hand. I ignored her and walk a few feet away. SHE followed me and nudged my hand again. This dance cycled itself a couple more times until SHE gently nipped my hand. I finally gave in and began petting her as SHE sat on her haunches right next to me, content at last.

When the Black Panther appears it’s time to remove the mask. Black Panther as a Totem Animal belongs to those who live honestly and authentically.

Black Panther speaks to our soul with the shimmering energy of the Moon; this big cat is the ultimate shapeshifter and the master of disguise. Panther’s sleek black coat cloaks its true identity in the shadows. It isn’t until you are close to a Panther that their illusion falls away and who they really becomes visible.

But, good luck getting close to this elusive animal and any human for which Black Panther is their Totem Animal.

Black Panther is a loner. This Spirit is one of solitary study who often walks alone; this is not a lonely life, rather one of choice that develops Panther’s senses especially to psychic abilities and magic.

Because Panther has lunar ties, they hold the power of mysticism and the safety of darkness. Her wisdom and knowledge are a deep as the night itself. She is sensitive to vibrations that others cannot process, and very in touch with her sensual, sexual self.

[source]

I haven’t connected with my Shadow self since leaving Northern California. I guess SHE felt it was time we re-connected. I couldn’t agree more…

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December 2011

I lost Ortolini suddenly on December 4th. Two weeks later, Tim experienced an “incident” involving his heart. I thought I would lose him, too. I also began having visions while walking the three blocks to the nursery where I worked. Spontaneous creative imagery. Seeing with the mind’s eye. Mind-pops.

I remember roughly sketching these images but cannot for the life of me find them anywhere, so I will try to describe them. They were all holiday-themed.

  • One centered around cyclamen – which are popular around the holidays – against a black backdrop, assuming poses such as reclining. I actually replicated this one, complete with spotlight.
  • The other one I reproduced (due in no small part to the patience of our Houseplant Buyer, Julie) was Santa’s sleigh pulled by nine reindeer. I bought a small sleigh and used 4″ poinsettia for Santa and the reindeer, linking them together with ribbon.
  • Others which were not realized was a Swedish Christmas Chime using Delphiniums and a Menorah fashioned from succulents stationed on upside-down pots.

Finally, I had envisioned a box with a peephole through which one would see a small diorama comprised of plants.

It was absolutely INSANE but compelling because I had absolutely NO CONTROL over these “mind-pops”, which continued through the holidays into January of 2012. That month, Tim underwent defibrillator implant surgery. Shortly thereafter, these “visions” stopped. Just like that.

I’m no psychologist but I suspect these imaginative and unconventional surges were a coping mechanism. I guess I could’ve done worse, like abusing drugs or alcohol. I have no idea what my poor co-workers thought but I do owe them a huge debit of gratitude for being so patient with me.

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Dream Journal (2.2.2021)

This dream took place last night.

Ever dreamed of dying? Specifically, have you ever had a dream in which you are scheduled to be killed or executed? I don’t believe I ever posted the previous one, which happened last year, where I was in a holding cell with a lot of other people and we were all scheduled to be executed the following day. Well, I decided I was going to conduct aerobic exercises and got everyone up and participating. Hilarious, right? Perhaps I was doing my best to take everyone’s mind off things because I know it wasn’t because we were concerned about keeping ourselves fit! LOL.

Last night’s was more sobering. Both Ramses and I were in the company of an individual who had clearly kidnapped us for the sake of executing me. At least, I think I was the only one due to be killed. This assassin had a gun and was someone I knew. When it came time for me to die, I turned my back to him so he could deliver the bullet to the back of my head. I told Ramses I would “meet him on the other side” (This is where I’m not sure if Ramses was going to be killed straightaway or not.) and told Diego and Ortoloni I would “be joining them soon.” I was calm and had clearly accepted my fate. I woke up prior to the individual pulling the trigger.

Dreaming of death indicates a possible change in our life, a necessary and unavoidable change that is about to come and that we must accept otherwise it will not be possible to evolve. This change may come in the form of psychological transformation or major transition. It may be your inner guide’s way of saying you’re ready to let go of something that no longer serves you.

But the fact is, my feelings upon awakening were deep sadness coupled with a sense of loss. On one hand I was joyfully looking forward to seeing my beloved cats again. On the other, I was heartbroken about leaving behind T (and possibly Ramses). So I’m not sure what the dream is telling me. One site suggested that dreaming about being executed is an “indication that you need to make a change in your life” and that “there is some part of your waking life that needs changing as soon as possible.”

So I did what I thought would help clarify things for me:  I sat down and did a Tarot reading…

When a card appears Reversed, it means that the card’s energy is present but at a lower level. It’s weakened. The last time I drew the Lord of Skulls (King of Pentacles) Reversed was on November 4, 2020:  The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Lord of Skulls.

The suit of Pentacles tends to deal with the material aspects of our lives:  Money, our bodies, work, and material possessions. The suit also has ties to the home, earth, and nature. I’m still unsure about the card’s connection to my dream. I may have to mull this over for a few days…

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Amoral Sociopaths

We are surrounded by amoral sociopaths and narcissists. They seem to be EVERYWHERE. In fact, they ARE everywhere. The time it would take me to write Posts about every well-known sociopath/narcissist would take me the rest of my life. I prefer to concentrate my energies elsewhere. HOWEVER, since these two are linked to the abuse and exploitation of animals – especially big cats – it hit a nerve.

KTNV Las Vegas

January 22, 2021
Federal court crackdown forces ‘Tiger King’s’ Jeff Lowe to surrender cubs
Judge seeks to prevent further suffering, death

On Friday, a federal judge forced Jeff and Lauren Lowe to surrender all big cat cubs that are a year old and younger, as well as the cubs’ mothers, for temporary placement at reputable facilities.

[…]

The forced animal surrender comes amid a pending federal case over alleged violations of the Endangered Species Act and Animal Welfare Act.

The court has also ordered the Lowes to immediately stop exhibiting animals without a license, hire an attending veterinarian, provide proof of veterinary care, and provide records of what happened to animals authorities say have been missing since June 2020.

Court records say 60 of 200 animals are unaccounted for.

immoral
adj. describes people who can differentiate between right and wrong but intentionally do wrong anyway.

amoral
adj. having or showing no concern about whether behavior is morally right or wrong” — compendiously, “without morals.”

sociopath
n. a person whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience

Amoral? Sociopaths? Unquestionably. (Lowlifes? Definitely!)

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Snakes, Swords, and Aspirational Clutter

At 3:30 this morning I awoke from a dream. In this dream I was lying on a couch in front of a fireplace within which burned a fire. There was a coiled rattlesnake on the floor beside the couch. It was not rattling its tail but was regarding me intently. Not wanting to get bitten and hoping the serpent would wander off, I lay very still. Suddenly it DID strike me. On the side of my head, but my thick hair acted like a helmet and deflected its fangs.

I’ve had snake dreams before but never a rattlesnake – and never with one striking out at me.

Reading-up on dream interpretations, I found that the dreamer should place high importance on any dream about snakes. As I was not bitten, I ruled out any explanations that focused on that. Most said that dreaming of a rattlesnake is a warning of something hostile or dangerous in the dreamer’s waking life. The danger may either be external or internal. In other words, the snake could represent wrestling with one’s inner demons or harboring irrational fears; or it could mean treachery at foot (I ruled the latter out as well.).

The more I analyzed it, the more I felt the creature striking at my head was a sign from the Universe telling me to “Wake up.”

Now I was wide awake and feeling a bit weird about the dream, so I got up and made myself a hot milk toddy. Then I decided to burn some incense to cleanse the air. Then I thought I might as well pull a Tarot card…as I was still feeling pretty funky.

While the Vampyress in the card is described as being “sorrowful”, I’ve always sensed a bit of REVENGE here. It’s there in the eyes and the tilt of her head. The phrase “cuts like a knife” comes to mind, with the knife representing the sharp intellect representative of the suit. DID she exact revenge? Has the Vampyress fed upon her pain for so long she’s allowed it to consume her?

Also referred to as “Lord of Sorrow”, the 3 of Knives (Swords) represents worries, heartache, and emotional pain. As Knives (Swords) rule the intellect and mental activity this unhappiness is being caused by stressful thinking and needless worrying. Denying or blocking emotions results in the inability to free oneself from the past. Release any emotional tension or negative energy by allowing yourself to experience it fully. Then let go of it.

Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster.
For when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

– Friedrich Nietzsche


Today also marks a New Moon in the analytical sign of Virgo. (Note: The Sun is also aligned with Virgo and will be staying there through September 22nd.)

At the same time we have Sun Trine Saturn (which shines a spotlight on authority figures) and Mercury Square Jupiter (focus on organization). Additionally, this New Moon is “”connecting with the North and South Nodes of the moon, which are known as the Nodes of Destiny. This means that the actions we take during this time will be key in shifting our future, giving this lunation even more relevance than any other regular new moon.” Reference link

New Moons are not only for setting intentions, they are usually a time of fresh starts and new beginnings; but with Mars still Retrograde (in Aries) this is not the time to start anything new. Virgo’s New Moon will urge us to Re-flect, Re-examine, Re-evaluate, Re-vise, and Re-organize. (This would be a good time to Re-visit any forgotten projects…)

Lastly, Virgo is connected to the Healer Archetype. Focus on your well-being and the well-being of those you love. Practice self-care. More than ever, this last point is vital to our mental and physical health.

Which brings me to “aspirational clutter”. Apartment Therapy has been posting daily decluttering tips and today’s was: Removing This One Type of Clutter from Your Life Is an Act of Self-Love.

According to the Post, “Aspirational clutter is anything you’re keeping for a future version of yourself. Clear it out if you need more mental or physical space for who you are right now.” Indeed.

I will go a step further and challenge each and every one of us to perform an Aspirational Declutter of our minds and spirits. Let’s get rid of everything that doesn’t serve us; that no longer benefits who we aspire to BE.

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