Dream Journal (12.7.2022)

‘Kayso, before I get on with my dream I would like to preface by saying that tonight is December’s Full Moon and the last Full Moon of 2022. It occurs at 8:08pm here in California in the sign of Gemini (communication/intellect) and is conjunct Mars (passion/drive)- which is currently in Retrograde.

A conjunction occurs when two planets are within 8° of each other. Conjunctions usually indicate areas that will show good results.

On this particular Full Moon Darkstar has this to say:
“Moon conjunction Mars in the sky can indicate a time when people are fierce about protecting their family or homeland. It is an energy of defence, but also one when the collective’s feelings erupt easily into rage. Verbal violence is possible, so domestic bliss is unlikely. This conjunction is great for firefighters as they will react speedily and instinctively. Since Mars is retrograde currently this particular conjunction will have a more simmering energy. Words will be used rather than actions to protect. So look out for intellectual battles.”

Retrograde Meaning in Astrology
Simply by being contrary to the normal [forward] flow, retrograde motion represents an exception, or perhaps even a challenge, to this sense of normalcy. But since retrograde planets depart from the main highway altogether, perhaps it’s more appropriate to think of them as seekers or explorers who travel the celestial byways in search of something not available on the main highway…Since retrograde motion is so radically different than the norm, it’s not a surprise that many people often experience it as disruptive. The question, then, is whether disruption is in and of itself a bad thing.

Indeed. Full Moons are all about closure and is the perfect time for self-Reflection and Release. With today’s Full Moon conjunct Mars Retrograde we can add Relinquish. (It’s all about the R’s…) Let go of expectation, outcomes, or things you have no control over. Surrender yourself to the Universe, trusting that it always has your best intentions at heart.

One more thing. I’ve written before about how New Moons make me feel out of sorts but Full Moons have the OPPOSITE effect. Instead of draining me, Full Moons zap me with high-voltage, positive energy. Being that I’m an Aries (ruled by Mars) and tonight’s moon is being “kissed” by the Red Planet, this may account for the extra exuberancy I’m experiencing – as you will see…

This dream took place last night.

Although I found myself cavorting (?) through different scenes and situations, the focus of the dream was on what I was wearing and how wonderful I felt wearing it: A mid-calf, black leather “swing” skirt. (Think 50s-style poodle skirt.) It was made out of leather so thin that it moved airily around me. On one side of the front was painted a Día de los Muertos-style face of a beautiful woman. At one point I realized my footwear was out-of-place (tan suede hiking boots) and POOF they changed into a pair of black patent pumps. Ah, much better. I felt beautiful, free, and magickal in that skirt!

I really didn’t bother looking into the meaning of this dream as I awoke with a song in my heart. Being that I can barely carry a tune, it’s a good thing I kept the song to myself. LOL. Nevertheless, it was a feel-good dream if there ever was one. (Now the question is: Where can I get a skirt like the one I wore? Probably not Amazon. Maybe Etsy?)

ℳ –

Four and Five of Cups: Two sides of the same coin

This isn’t a typical interpretation of a Tarot spread, but is something I’ve been wanting to address for many moons now but kept putting off because I didn’t quite know how to approach the subject. As soon as I drew these two I KNEW what I was looking at, and that the time had come for me to stop procrastinating.

Psychic Vampires & Narcissists

I’m not a shrink by any stretch of the imagination but I have encountered many variations of these types of individuals. Whether conscious or unconscious of their actions, these are BROKEN beings. They are also Master Manipulators.

Although the woman on the left appears to be victimized by a Vampyre, she is enjoying every single minute of the encounter. Indeed, she herself is what we would call a “Psychic Vampire” or “Energy Vampire”.

“These are the people who seem to be in constant crisis, perpetually drawing others into their orbit to vent frustration, air complaints, and, yes, pull attention and energy to themselves…Being an energy vampire isn’t a static condition, but it could be a part of narcissism – an inflated sense of self and the need to feel better by disparaging others and promoting themselves in front of others.” [source]

These individuals suck the very air out of a room and live for drama. They feed off its energy. Their life is a well-constructed play in which they are the STAR. The typical “Drama Queen/King” comes to mind here, but the PVs’ manner of sucking you dry may be subtle and more difficult to discern. Once you become familiar with them, however, you instantly recognize their M.O.

Example: A person who finds fault with every single acquaintance/family member/friend/lover, but doesn’t understand why people don’t want to be around him/her, then proceeds to criticize them for “treating him/her badly”. The Psychic Vampire knows what they are doing, but this script needs to be played-out over and over again in order for them to feel relevant.

Remember: They are the STAR of their Universe and everyone else (including you) is a bit player.

On the right we have Ms. Pity Party. ♫♪Poor, poor pitiful me.♪♫

These narcissistic individuals are the GOOD GUY (or gal) in their production. Their M.O. is to set themselves up to be used or treated badly – or just lie about being mistreated. Like the PV on the left, this is a card they will play over and over again. Why? Because it works! It works beautifully on anyone who is compassionate, sympathetic, and generous with themselves. Targets of covert narcissists will feel guilty and believe that this person is THE victim. If you get sucked into their world you will be attending to their bottomless “needs” at the expense of your own health and well-being. Goddess help you if you suddenly say “No” to the demands because this one will turn on you in a NY minute.

“Due to your pity of someone who portrays themselves as hard up, and a victim, you are less likely to suspect them of anything negative — deceipt, manipulation, malice etc…They are harder to spot because they do not display the grandiosity of the Overt Narcissist…” [source]

Unlike the PV, this style of narcissist may not be CONSCIOUSLY aware of what they are doing. They are emotionally stunted yet aware enough to know they are lacking in something that YOU have plenty of: confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem.

Like the PV, the Pitiful Pearl will also suck you dry.

Covert Narcissists: Martyrs in Sackcloth–Endless Pity Parties

ℳ –

Dream Journal (8.8.2021)

This dream took place last night.

SHE came to me last night. My Spirit Animal. My Shadow. My Panther. I was in a large warehouse-type building talking to someone when SHE appeared and nudged my hand. I ignored her and walk a few feet away. SHE followed me and nudged my hand again. This dance cycled itself a couple more times until SHE gently nipped my hand. I finally gave in and began petting her as SHE sat on her haunches right next to me, content at last.

When the Black Panther appears it’s time to remove the mask. Black Panther as a Totem Animal belongs to those who live honestly and authentically.

Black Panther speaks to our soul with the shimmering energy of the Moon; this big cat is the ultimate shapeshifter and the master of disguise. Panther’s sleek black coat cloaks its true identity in the shadows. It isn’t until you are close to a Panther that their illusion falls away and who they really becomes visible.

But, good luck getting close to this elusive animal and any human for which Black Panther is their Totem Animal.

Black Panther is a loner. This Spirit is one of solitary study who often walks alone; this is not a lonely life, rather one of choice that develops Panther’s senses especially to psychic abilities and magic.

Because Panther has lunar ties, they hold the power of mysticism and the safety of darkness. Her wisdom and knowledge are a deep as the night itself. She is sensitive to vibrations that others cannot process, and very in touch with her sensual, sexual self.


I haven’t connected with my Shadow self since leaving Northern California. I guess SHE felt it was time we re-connected. I couldn’t agree more…

ℳ –

Dream Journal (2.2.2021)

This dream took place last night.

Ever dreamed of dying? Specifically, have you ever had a dream in which you are scheduled to be killed or executed? I don’t believe I ever posted the previous one, which happened last year, where I was in a holding cell with a lot of other people and we were all scheduled to be executed the following day. Well, I decided I was going to conduct aerobic exercises and got everyone up and participating. Hilarious, right? Perhaps I was doing my best to take everyone’s mind off things because I know it wasn’t because we were concerned about keeping ourselves fit! LOL.

Last night’s was more sobering. Both Ramses and I were in the company of an individual who had clearly kidnapped us for the sake of executing me. At least, I think I was the only one due to be killed. This assassin had a gun and was someone I knew. When it came time for me to die, I turned my back to him so he could deliver the bullet to the back of my head. I told Ramses I would “meet him on the other side” (This is where I’m not sure if Ramses was going to be killed straightaway or not.) and told Diego and Ortoloni I would “be joining them soon.” I was calm and had clearly accepted my fate. I woke up prior to the individual pulling the trigger.

Dreaming of death indicates a possible change in our life, a necessary and unavoidable change that is about to come and that we must accept otherwise it will not be possible to evolve. This change may come in the form of psychological transformation or major transition. It may be your inner guide’s way of saying you’re ready to let go of something that no longer serves you.

But the fact is, my feelings upon awakening were deep sadness coupled with a sense of loss. On one hand I was joyfully looking forward to seeing my beloved cats again. On the other, I was heartbroken about leaving behind T (and possibly Ramses). So I’m not sure what the dream is telling me. One site suggested that dreaming about being executed is an “indication that you need to make a change in your life” and that “there is some part of your waking life that needs changing as soon as possible.”

So I did what I thought would help clarify things for me:  I sat down and did a Tarot reading…

When a card appears Reversed, it means that the card’s energy is present but at a lower level. It’s weakened. The last time I drew the Lord of Skulls (King of Pentacles) Reversed was on November 4, 2020:  The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Lord of Skulls.

The suit of Pentacles tends to deal with the material aspects of our lives:  Money, our bodies, work, and material possessions. The suit also has ties to the home, earth, and nature. I’m still unsure about the card’s connection to my dream. I may have to mull this over for a few days…

ℳ –

Amoral Sociopaths

We are surrounded by amoral sociopaths and narcissists. They seem to be EVERYWHERE. In fact, they ARE everywhere. The time it would take me to write Posts about every well-known sociopath/narcissist would take me the rest of my life. I prefer to concentrate my energies elsewhere. HOWEVER, since these two are linked to the abuse and exploitation of animals – especially big cats – it hit a nerve.

KTNV Las Vegas

January 22, 2021
Federal court crackdown forces ‘Tiger King’s’ Jeff Lowe to surrender cubs
Judge seeks to prevent further suffering, death

On Friday, a federal judge forced Jeff and Lauren Lowe to surrender all big cat cubs that are a year old and younger, as well as the cubs’ mothers, for temporary placement at reputable facilities.


The forced animal surrender comes amid a pending federal case over alleged violations of the Endangered Species Act and Animal Welfare Act.

The court has also ordered the Lowes to immediately stop exhibiting animals without a license, hire an attending veterinarian, provide proof of veterinary care, and provide records of what happened to animals authorities say have been missing since June 2020.

Court records say 60 of 200 animals are unaccounted for.

adj. describes people who can differentiate between right and wrong but intentionally do wrong anyway.

adj. having or showing no concern about whether behavior is morally right or wrong” — compendiously, “without morals.”

n. a person whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience

Amoral? Sociopaths? Unquestionably. (Lowlifes? Definitely!)

ℳ –